I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
