I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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