It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
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