We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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