i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
