somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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