Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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