The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.