Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…