I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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