I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie