At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music