I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck