Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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  (212): I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet. http://tfl.nu/8wa0
  Replies (8) Good night (3949) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She is totally STD

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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  (941): She is totally STD (941): Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD http://tfl.nu/ruv5
  Replies (52) Good night (957) Bad night (3969)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
  Replies (34) Good night (5595) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers

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  (720): Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers http://tfl.nu/jgqx
  Replies (4) Good night (5359) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic

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  (708): Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic http://tfl.nu/vj27
  Replies (10) Good night (4527) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm eager to hear this explaination.

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  (423): Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog... (1-423): I'm eager to hear this explaination. http://tfl.nu/jgrb
  Replies (15) Good night (4591) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?

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  (419): How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/9rcf
  Replies (20) Good night (1018) Bad night (3537) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.

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  (512): In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian. http://tfl.nu/ew8b
  Replies (7) Good night (2287) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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  (812): well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me. http://tfl.nu/v83s
  Replies (2) Good night (1109) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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  (304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8
  Replies (15) Good night (6256) Bad night (764)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.

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  (336): But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob. http://tfl.nu/czfm
  Replies (10) Good night (1916) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

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  (901): You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants." http://tfl.nu/f9vw
  Replies (6) Good night (367) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out

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  (703): Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out http://tfl.nu/d2ci
  Replies (8) Good night (2196) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.

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  (404): So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord. http://tfl.nu/381z
  Replies (5) Good night (331) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (786): View more from Florida

  tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.

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  (786): tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected. http://tfl.nu/x54o
  Replies (1) Good night (239) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt

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