i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
