no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
