If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
