Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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