you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
