No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
