weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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