Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
