I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
