bring money and cleavage
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize