can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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