...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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