GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Every concussion has its silver lining
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
