toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
