the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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