I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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