just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize