He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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