dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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