Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
