well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
