Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
