help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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