Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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