they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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