Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
