Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
3pm strippers are depressing
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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