can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
