You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
