I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
