I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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