Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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