shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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