Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
