covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you made out with another girl for some wings
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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