just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
