sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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