hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
