just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
