i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
