STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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