Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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