i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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