I just made out with a guy for $7.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
