Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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