I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
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I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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