we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
