Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
