pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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