I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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