the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
